During the third weekend of July, every other year, (this year) my family extended, will gather together for a weekend of celebrating the legacy of our forbearers and the new additions to our family! We have a fantastic time planning it; forming committees, sub-committees, focus groups, coordinators, sponsors and contact persons! We have a bank account created especially for the collection and safekeeping of dues and expense funds. We make calls or send out e-mails and texts with information updates. We mail fliers and letters to accommodate the communication abilities of all of our family members as everyone is not necessarily participating in the latest technological advances…found that some prefer it that way, also!
It is a glorious undertaking and we have been having it since I can remember! Back in 1979, after a long hiatus, my mother, her sister and their spouses, along with some of their first cousins re-established the gathering; something that they used to do back in the day. It seems that it was easier back then because everyone lived in a lot closer proximity; if not in the same community, at least, in the same town or county. By the time my mother and my aunt re-established the event, all of the related families had spread out to all reaches of the nation and, in fact, the world. A family whose legacy includes several generations of individuals who served in the Armed Forces throughout the years made traveling to the event a reality that had to be taken into account.
We have all, on one occasion or other, missed the event due to more pressing commitments like fighting in wars, career obligations, family issues or shallow pockets but for the most part, the principle actors seem to make it; they being the first generation Elders. They always seem to make the sojourn and grace us with their presence and remind us what the event is all about. Unfortunately, the family tree of participants’ narrows as Elders meet our maker and distant cousins, several times removed, don’t keep close contact as did the early generations. The grandchildren of 1st and 2nd cousins hardly know each other, let alone stay in contact. Sadly, I admit this; it is life and we can’t dwell on it too negatively.
I will attest to the feeling of melancholy as I grow into that middle age where I am old enough to have grandchildren; not that I am anxious over not having any yet. I think that it is more the fact that I am easily reminded of when I was of the age of a young parent and watching my children interacting with their older relatives was a satisfying feeling. I was ensuring that the bridge was being crossed and the gap was being filled; them knowing their extended family. The reunion was an event that would live with them for the rest of their lives. I knew how I felt being around all of my relatives and my sons’ fondest recollections seem to be of those instances when they had the opportunities to be around theirs.
Over the years we’ve had to realize and accept some drastic changes in the extended family dynamic such that our gathering has dwindled down give or take, to115 people instead of the 250 in attendance at the 1979 affair. Now, not withstanding my 1st cousin, his wife, son and sister; the children and grandchild of my mother’s brother, the reunion is made up of my parents’ prodigious brood of ten children and their spouses/significant others, thirty-nine grandchildren with assorted husbands, wives or significant others and about forty-some great-grandchildren! The reunion is a wonderful event that allows us to reconnect, again, and, as my father says, put eyes on each other as we don’t know if we can promise that we’ll do so again, soon or ever. That is the often sad, unspoken, reality of family reunions; could be the last time! We don’t know…!
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